the hiatus.

Am off work today and for the next 2 months. I gotta say am a little excited but at the same time scared of where life is leading me. I do love a challenge, and am getting exactly that. I just pray that God sees me through this one coz i can't afford to fuck up.I may be a lot busier and find less time to blog but i will make sure i keep a weekly date with you guys.
You should see me now, with my almost natural hair all looking crazy, watching out for signs of whatever is to come next- Will fill you in on everything that's happening to me in February, am just at the moment enjoying my mystery and thanking God for supportive family, am so grateful for my mum and my awesome sister- posted her pic in an earlier post and for friends, what would i do without my friends?

So I will see you in February, and don't get tired of my ramblings.

Love ya all.
J.

jell-o

Don't know why i chose that title....I just liked it...Well,Happy new year everyone....Been ages since i posted anything, and that's not a good thing. Been writing a lot though, not for the blog but for other forums and i think i got overwhelmed and abandoned my baby...decided to name my blog Leo, why Leo? coz that's the name i would give my baby boy.....so yeah, this blog is a male...did I just hear you ask why? well, just coz...anyway, am a girl and girls like boys, at least the straight ones do....and am very straight hehe!Anyway, today i interviewed a very influential woman in the religious circles...Yeah, a big name( and they aren't that many in Kenya, so you can take a wild guess as to her identity). She was so nice and witty....i had yet to meet a great pastor, until I met her.Not that i have anything against pastors but well, i can't stand being preached to, except maybe by Joel Osteen...Him because he talks softly, like he is conversing with me, rather than telling me what he thinks is right or wrong.Plus his looks don't hurt.Well, i hate being told what to do...am more of a 'leave me to my own devices' kind of person... But i digress, I loved her, and if i wasn't too hooked to my Catholicism( if that's even a word, but hey, it's my blog) maybe i would consider going to the one she ministers at.
How has your new year been?Mine's been great so far, expecting great stuff.Today has been great too coz my dad called me...I can see your snicker wondering why that is such a big deal....well, if you knew my dad, you would think so too. My dad is an awesome guy. He is the really quiet sort and says nothing if he ain't got anything important to say. In campus, the only time we talked was when i needed money, otherwise he would allow my mum to do all the talking..He's your typical African man, showing his affection on the more practical rather than the words sense...Never heard him say ''I love you" to me or anyone, but I have seen him travel miles to see me do something as mundane as dancing in a kid's singing competition..that means more than words. Never missed a single visiting day in my boarding school life of 8 years....Now that's real love.


I think am blabbing away.....time to get back to work and though this new year i haven't made resolutions, i plan on blogging more, and soon, when my belated Xmas gift arrives, i plan on sharing it with you..


xoxo
kiki.

let's drink to that.

Hey Lovelies.....am in a good mood today. And the weather actually matches my moods, It is sunny outside and am looking good( if i can say so myself. hehe!). I love the jiggling of the bangles adorning my arm, I love how my blouse flatters my torso without undue emphasis and yes, I wanna skip, or dance to silence.
I miss Mr K a lot. He's been gone for a week now but we talk often and am grateful to the whizkid who created the e-buddy chat application.
Yesterday, i had an interesting situation. We were toasting to Christmas and all things festive and instead of my glass being filled with wine like for all the others( not that i would usually drink but i like having choices), mine had grape juice, that's how you know that you are special. Rihanna's Cheer's song comes to mind....and my favorite lines include-  cheers to the freaking weekend( replace with Xmas) and 'don't let the bastards get you down'( i especially like this one.) and yes, that;s my new ringtone for the week. But i digress.
Am getting ready for Christmas, my last Christmas for me as the person i am today. 2012 holds many new things for me.Never been a sucker for change, but i have never balked down at challenges and curve balls that life throws at me, I play to win and win I will..( God told me so, hehe!)  2011 has been a great year with a great measure of good and surprises; My strength has been tested a lot this year and I have discovered that am stronger than i thought...I got my first ever job. God knows am grateful for that, and my boss is the kind of woman i wanna be like....Mr K is living his dreams, can't be happier for him..and soon,am gonna meet someone who will change my life forever( will tell you all about it in 2012.). I also started my blog and am grateful to you all., Oh! and I graduated.
Here are a few lessons I have learnt in 2011. I hope they help you even a little.
Lessons from 2011.

• Tough times don't last forever, They serve to test your strength and when you remain firm, solutions start trickling in. if you falter and panic,you will make a wrong decision and regret is what you will live with.
• Your family may have its quirks but they won't desert you when hell breaks loose...and appreciate your mama more, she is a gem no matter how mad she makes you at times.
• The world views you and treats you as you view yourself.. If you think that you are a failure, the world views you as such. If you think that you are great, then the world views you as that and you will achieve greatness.
• Not everyone who smiles at you is your friend.Treasure the good friends you have and back off from the toxic ones.
• If you want something really bad, it comes to you( that really works. I think God conspires with the universe and you get it.) Plus when you really want something, you put the best of your efforts to it and When you've done your best, God doesn't let you down.
• Am not ultra religious, I don't even consider myself worthy of his grace but i like to think that am spiritual. I believe that everyone needs God in their life. You need his divinity to push on through life.
• Smile, smile smile, it's never that serious. Believe me.

Time for me to get back to work. Happy mood still on, 'op it lasts through the day and do enjoy yourself.

About Love...and Mr K.

Hey...yo all. Trying to keep it weekly and not let the laziness creep in.
Been thinking about love lately.Love is a beautiful thing if it is reciprocated love.
Can't call myself an expert on all things Love since I have been in one serious relationship since I was 19 years old and still at it at 23,  still going strong.
Everything else i had before then was inconsequential..didn't feel like it then but it was majorly major crushes on anyone deemed handsome. Back in my high school days, i had this major crush on Pilipili, always thought we were soul mates...the eyes..let me not even talk about that. Then followed major crushes on Craig David, Marcus Houston and Omarion...I always had the idea that if these guys came to Kenya for a concert( which i would obviously attend and have a front row seat) the minute any of them would spot me in the crowd, they would realize that God had sent them here to meet the African beauty made for them..hehe! they still haven't come yet and the crush has worn off....until i watch another video of them. 
Anyway, am happy where am at right now. This is the 5th year and everything is still as awesome if not even better. Of course it hasn't been without hitches, a couple of break-ups here and there, doubts here and there, a couple of tears and stormy days , but at the end of it all. it prevailed.
Let's call him Mr K. He is a great guy( not biased, wouldn't have stuck through 5 years if he wasn't), sensitive, caring, interesting, intelligent( a major deal for me) and has a sense of humor. I can positively say he can handle me.....not an easy feat i promise you. I am stubborn and strong headed( been told loadsa times) but he manages to quell them....And did i mention that he is the brutally honest sort...That can be wonderful and highly infuriating at times.Wonderful when compliments are being paid coz i know they are totally honest( what girl doesn't appreciate compliments?) and frustrating when he's pointing out that my hair doesn't look great or that am acting like a baby...Well, but i know him well enough not to listen when he thinks that my shoes are ugly- anything ultra chic doesn't make much sense to him lol! 
Now why have i been thinking about Love a lot lately? Well, am about to embark on a long distance relationship. Never had that before so i have to admit it is a scary prospect,especially now that lot's of changes are happening in my life...He's going away for a while and i will miss him like crazy. Maybe it's not a bad thing, maybe it is a time to grow stronger as individuals, and become better persons to make a stronger team together. After all, they say that Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
On another note...here is my siz, people say we look a lot alike, i don't know about that but i know that she is awesome.

Beautiful girl...Nan-c.

I know i haven't blogged as regularly as i should have, I put it down to laziness, but never again. Not been a good week for me. Actually, never had a worse week. Woke up to the death of my best friend's mum. Beautiful woman, never met her but my girl always told me so much about her that i felt i knew her. Was hoping to meet her someday, that didn't happen. Now this friend of mine is the kind of girl anyone would hope to have for a friend. Always tells me off when am out of line and if i wanted a honest opinion, she's my go to girl.
Been going through some difficult moments lately, difficult in the sense that they were unforeseen and she has been by my side when most took off...and i mean that.Haven't heard from them yet I really thought they were my pals. People i thought were my true friends were well, fakes!
Nancy is her name. A lovely girl with such a loving touch and humble demeanor yet a surprising strength that would make many a people feel inadequate.
If you have a friend like i have, appreciate her and be glad that you have a true friend in your corner, someone who sees past your bullshits and fronts of false bravado when all you want to do is breakdown and cry.
I only pray for Nancy to get through this.Losing a mum is the worst thing that could happen to any child. The only comfort is that the lovely woman is at peace now, a true angel watching over the daughter who graciously nursed her to the end.

Cheers to Nancy, a woman like no other. A girl i want to be like, a girl i would want my future daughters to be like.

Such is life....

Yes, bad things happen to good people. Merciless pitiful things that no one deserves in life. Such is life. it gives you pain but also gives you joys in equal measure...that's just life. Somewhere in a small rural town s a grandmother taking care of her grandkids because their parents died from the usual culprit that is A.I.Ds or worse still, were murdered by the Mungiki. Such is life. You cannot understand why things work the way they do.Somewhere is a jobless pregnant girl abandoned by people she thought loved her unconditionally. Now she has to understand that life can be a cold hard place and grow up fast enough to be a good mother to her baby, or at least die trying. Such is life.Elsewhere is a young man who has gone through education by a stroke of luck that is his poor scraping mother who sold vegetables and scraped by all means for money to send her son to school. Now the boy is at home distressed because Kenya doesn't have many job openings at the moment? What do you tell the boy's mother when she questions God? What do you tell the poor grandmother when she cries out at night from the terror of losing her kids and the gnawing hunger having given up her food to here grand kids? How do you make the poor girl understand that life still goes on when she can't see beyond her predicament? Well, such is life.
You have it better than most, people die from hunger everyday, others from exploding oil tankers. Yes, poverty is a great motivator to do the insane. I still think you have it better than most. If you can walk, talk, sleep in a warm bed, you have it better than most. If you can afford even one meal in a day, fret not, you have it better than most.
Who will you blame when your life comes to an end without accomplishing your desires and want? you will have no one to blame but yourself. So you say there are no jobs nowadays? well, get that creative idea from your head, or at least get one. make a business plan and search for an investor. believe in your idea so bad that others believe in it enough to invest their money in it .  Don't give up until you make someone believe in it. you got an education don't let it go to waste. If you do, who will help the poor without an education? who will help those who really need help? Because truth be told, life gives you back what you plant into it. Be WISE. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.We are all in this struggle together ( Remember i got a list of things i want before am 30). Just trust in God, get off your ass, believe in yourself and work harder.

Wooden Bowl.

Here is a beautiful e-mail i figured i could re-post hoping you will gain as much as I did from it.

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year – old grandson. 
The old man’s hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.

The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather’s shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. 
When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess.
‘We must do something about father,’ said the son. 
‘I’ve had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.’

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. 
There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner.  Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl.

When the family glanced in Grandfather’s direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. 
Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped  a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence.

One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, ‘What are you making ?’ Just as sweetly, the boy responded, ‘Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up. ‘ The four-year-old smiled and  went back to work.

The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. 
Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.
That evening the husband took Grandfather’s hand and  gently  led him back to the family table. 
For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

On a positive note, I’ve learned that, no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles four things: 
a rainy day, the elderly, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I’ve learned that, regardless of your relationship with your parents,you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life.

I’ve learned that making a ‘living’ is not the same thing as making a ‘life..’

I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back

I’ve learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you 
But,  if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others,    your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you

I’ve learned that whenever I decide  something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.

I’ve learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone.

People love that human touch — holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.

I’ve learned that you should pass this on to everyone you care about .I just did.